​While none of us can plan for everything, there is a quiet kindness in leaving behind a little more clarity for those who may one day need to carry out our wishes, make decisions on our behalf, or care for us at the end of our days.

Making a will is one part of this. It can help ensure that your money, home and belongings are passed on in the way you intend, and can make things much simpler for the people you love. Many people assume making a will is complicated or expensive, but there are now many affordable and even free ways to do it, including online services and charity-supported will schemes.

 

Lasting Power of Attorney

It is also wise to consider a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA). There are two separate LPAs:

• Property and Financial Affairs LPA — allows someone to help manage money, bills, banking, property etc.

• Health and Welfare LPA — allows someone to make decisions about care, treatment, living arrangements and end-of-life decisions if you lose capacity.

​

A few important things:

• LPAs must be signed in a particular order and witnessed correctly.

• A “certificate provider” must confirm that the person understands what they are signing and is not being pressured.

• The documents only become usable once registered with the Office of the Public Guardian.

• Health & Welfare LPAs only come into effect if someone loses mental capacity.

• Financial LPAs can optionally be used earlier with permission, for convenience/helping out.

 

People often use solicitors when:

• there are complex finances or businesses,

• blended families or potential disputes,

• concerns about capacity,

• or they simply want reassurance everything is correct.

​

But many people successfully DIY them.
These documents allow someone you trust to make decisions on your behalf if you become unable to make decisions for yourself.
Many people worry that creating a Lasting Power of Attorney means giving away control, but that is not how it works. A Lasting Power of Attorney is a preparation document. It only comes into effect if you are deemed no longer able to make certain decisions yourself. Until then, your choices remain your own. For many people, putting these documents in place brings a sense of relief — knowing that, if something unexpected happens, the people who know and love them best will be able to help navigate difficult decisions.

 

Letter of Wishes​

 

Alongside a legal will, it can also be deeply helpful to leave something less formal — a record of your wishes, practical information, and the things that matter to you.
You might write down:

• where important documents, passwords or accounts can be found

• details of bank accounts, insurance policies, utilities or subscriptions

• information about your digital life — email accounts, social media, photographs, cloud storage and online memberships

• who you would want to act as a digital legacy contact, able to access or close accounts if needed

• who needs to be contacted - family, friends, solicitor perhaps

• who you hope will support one another

• the people you would want nearby if you were dying

• music, readings or rituals that matter to you

• whether you would prefer burial or cremation

• thoughts about keeping your body at home, simple coffins, vigils or community-led funerals

• what should happen to pets, tools, books, letters, or treasured objects

• ...and the names of the people you hope your loved ones will lean on when the time comes.

​

Death cannot be perfectly planned for, but we can make things a little easier for the people who will one day have to look after us and who will want to honour our wishes.
​
None of this needs to be perfect or exhaustive and some of these things will need to be revisited again and again and updated as things change. 

And it is possible to attend to these things as something like a practical love letter to your nearest and dearest.
​
In the midst of grief, so many things can suddenly feel overwhelming, and anything that reduces confusion and conflict can become part of the care we leave behind.
​
In nearly all situations dying without a will in place, creates unnecessary stress and complications for the people that you love.
​​​

​​

​

Advance Directives, Living Wills & TEPs

These documents split into two different kinds. An advance directive, or living will, is something you write yourself, on your own initiative, setting out what you want in advance. The other kind, covered further down, are clinical documents, worked out together with a doctor or care team, once you've received a diagnosis that's likely to escalate.

Advance directives and living wills
An advance directive is a written statement of which medical treatments you don't want in the future, for use if you later lose the capacity to say so yourself. Its proper legal name is an Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment, usually shortened to ADRT. "Living will" is an older, informal name for the same thing, not a different document, just different language used over the years.

What goes in it
It sets out specific treatments you're refusing, and the circumstances in which that refusal applies. Common examples include refusing CPR, ventilation, or tube feeding if you're terminally ill and unconscious, or refusing further treatment for infections once a condition has become irreversible. It can only refuse treatment, not demand it, you can't use it to request a particular treatment, and it can't be used to request assisted dying, which remains illegal in the UK. It also doesn't cover basic care like pain relief, warmth, or hygiene, those are provided regardless.

Who needs one, and who should know about it
There's no requirement to have one. It matters most for people with a life-limiting or chronic illness, or anyone who wants a say in specific treatment decisions if they can no longer speak for themselves. Making one is only half the job, though, it only works if the people caring for you know it exists. Give a copy to your GP so it goes on your medical record, to close family, and to anyone likely to be involved in your care. Carrying a card or note about it, especially when going into hospital, helps make sure it's found in time.

What makes it legal
To be valid, it must be made by someone 18 or over who has the mental capacity to make it at the time. If it refuses a treatment that could keep you alive, it must be in writing, signed by you (or by someone else in your presence and at your direction), signed by a witness, and state explicitly that it applies "even if life is at risk." Without that wording, it won't be followed for life-sustaining treatment. It can be changed or withdrawn at any time while you still have capacity.

Documents made with a clinician: TEP, DNACPR, and ReSPECT
A Treatment Escalation Plan (TEP) is completed by clinicians in discussion with the patient or family, usually in hospital, and records decisions about how far treatment should go if someone deteriorates, for example, whether to move to intensive care or attempt resuscitation.

A Do Not Attempt Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (DNACPR) form, still commonly called a DNR, covers one narrower decision within that: whether CPR should be attempted if someone's heart or breathing stops. A doctor usually completes it, ideally after talking with the patient or family, based on clinical judgement about whether CPR would work or be in the person's best interest.

Neither a TEP nor a DNACPR is legally binding. They're recommendations for whoever's present in an emergency, and a clinician can depart from them if the situation doesn't match what was expected. An advance directive, by contrast, is legally binding once validly made.

In practice, these are increasingly combined into a single ReSPECT plan (Recommended Summary Plan for Emergency Care and Treatment) rather than kept as separate forms. If you already have an advance directive, any of these clinical plans should reference and respect it, but none of them replaces it.

​​​